we broke up and he got another girl pregnantis it ok to give nexgard early
If this happens, he STILL should not be welcomed back. You have a lot of personal issues to deal with, little boy. I mean for fuck sake? Hes probably the worlds most prolific internet commenter. Okay so what if the LW is not pro choice. In many states men can declare themselves non-fathers. So I have a pretty positive impression of my biological father. While I realize that this is a stressful situation, your letter indicates that you will always harbor resentment for this child and this woman who will be in you and your boyfriends lives FOREVER. April 9, 2012, 2:07 pm. If there was a child at conception, abortion would be murder. So true. Turns out it wasnt even his kid (thats another story), but she showed up at his work, called him repeatedly in the middle of the night, and physically assaulted his friends girlfriend in a parking lot. I do believe that many accidental pregnancies are not so accidental, but that is all the more reason for people who engage in casual sex, and are dead set against having kids, to do everything in their power to avoid having them! Or you think that landygirl does that? Listen, people have sexcasuallyand sometimes with people they never hope to see again. No. reader, yelyah77+, writes (16 April 2009): A Then how does the woman get off requiring the man to do it? April 9, 2012, 5:46 pm. i am currently in an awful situation. However, sure, something unexpected and life-altering happened to him, and hes upset, so surely hes an idiot. Men dont have those choices if they dont want the child. Im lucky that it has worked well for me and Im still childless, especially given the recent breakup and all. Therefore, move on. It doesnt sound like shes ready or willing to deal with him having fathered a child, especially if he changes his mind and wants to be a part of its life. She left me for him and and now wants me back. You seem too whiny for most womens taste. That fact just rubs me the wrong way. He also lowkey blames me because I initiated the breakup. Temperance She says the girl says she got pregnant while on birth control, puh leaaaaaaaaaase. I wouldnt advocate using the pull-out method alone, but if some stranger says Its cool, Im on the Pill and you dont *quite* believe her and you dont have a condom, I guess it wouldnt hurt. female You dont get to badmouth this woman just because she wont get an abortion that YOU and your boyfriend want her to get. Niven and Pournelle, Lucifers Hammer]. And my opinion doesnt change whether youre prepared to have a kid. The entire letter reeked of entitlement. just my opinion. April 9, 2012, 9:19 pm, Note I said 99% of PEOPLE in that situation, not women. Only men-children would not use a condom in this situation. A pregnancy, especially an unplanned one with no real relationship behind it is not a reason to stay together. You knew he would not or could not be the man you wanted. Im guessing thats where most of us got the idea that he was trying to push it on her. In most cases with my clients, the girl is wanting the guy back but the guy is the one who pulled away. April 10, 2012, 6:11 pm. I told him to stay with her and have this family as I dont want to be any cause for them breaking up, but he told me there was no way he was staying with her because he cant stand her. Men should not rely on women for their own birth control unless the two people in question are in a committed relationship. Iwannatalktosampson It's good that he's being a responsible father already by supporting them financially. We've joined the BHM Digital family of websites and have updated our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. That isnt the case. If he didnt want to wear condomwhateverIll even give him the benefit there. While I am pro-choice, I would never have an abortion. April 11, 2012, 8:04 am. It makes sense that she would do everything she could to convince us that this other woman wanting to keep the child is the worse thing ever because theyre obviously meant to be and this childs existence is a testament to the fact that their (former and/or current) relationship wasnt/isnt perfect. That wont solve anything. Everyone I know, including myself, that is not ready to have a child uses a condom or doubles up on protection, or makes sure that the pill is taken on damn regular basis. And he has agreed to support the child financially. and the man has the option to take extra precaution and choose to wear a condom. Welcome to parenthood. Problem. REALLY?! But you know what? Yes, the woman in question should have been just as involved in making sure she didnt get pregnant as the man. She might not have been on the Pill, but that was a risk that he chose to take by having sex with someone he knew for two minutes without a condom. He loves me but got someone else pregnant - Love Letters.com If it is his child, he owes the child at least something. He let you go. I just personally get outraged that this is the case: that he would have to pay support regardless, but that she can opt out of it. So, she went out, hooked up with someone she knew briefly (which a lot of people do) and accidently got pregnant. Its very unfair. Absolutely BOIL. And alimony is given to whichever spouse made less income, not women as a rule. lets_be_honest Having legal custody doesnt guarantee you or prevent you from paying support. If someone ahead of you slams on their brakes because they want to read a billboard and you hit them, Id guess youd be not be upset, because its your fault and youre aware that cars ahead of you can stop at any point. Now? April 9, 2012, 3:07 pm. 8 Red Flags that Her Pregnancy is a Trap. Your choice. Not only to prevent babies but to protect yourself from STDs. Problem. Apparently, the belief is that no one should ever have sex unless they intend to have a child with the person and are sure that it is a good idea. If you choose to live in an area known to be frequented by storks then you have no one but yourself to blame if you become a parent. And I called him out on condom use because truly that should be something we all think about when having non-monogamous sex EVEN if the woman is taking another form of birth control. These two ideas cannot be simultaneously true. If theres anyone whos unfairly been put in this mess, its not you its the baby. I also think that some LWs after reading the comments change there stories in the updates to try to save face though. AndreaMarie I cant see how anyone would be upset with a man who agrees with that statement and concludes that he has every right to walk away from the whole situation. We were on and off for few months, and during that time we both dated other people. I disagreed with a lot of your comments but I still enjoyed them. My biological clock is so, so ticking!!!. If he suddenly decided to emotionally ditch this woman when she was five months pregnant or after the baby was born, Id been singing another tune. Its painfully obvious. It doesnt even come close. I was just 6 months into a relationship when I got pregnant. So just ignore them, thats what I do. I get what youre saying. April 9, 2012, 1:35 pm. April 10, 2012, 6:28 pm. I just felt a huge blow of betrayal because I was waiting for him to talk to me again. (And a hint- if your boyfriend is as much of a mess as this letter makes him seem, its not- no matter how much of a mess you are). I wouldnt. We all know breakups are painful. I just want her to know so that she won't expect anything like my boyfriend marrying him. A dude youre dating barebacked someone while you were on a break and then came back to you and said he couldnt live without you. Wrap it up or dont have sex, thats the only choice YOU have.. Ill never understand the chicks who want to blame/curse/fight the other woman like the dude has no part in the whole mess. The court considers the psychological effects on the child before ordering support. April 10, 2012, 4:51 pm. I wanted to be the one who had a baby with . You are the one who is keeping this rollercoaster of a relationship going with him. Grow the fuck up! Recently he ended the affair and told this woman to have no further contact. Its very clear that you care a great deal about the quality of your childs life and emotional well-being. He didnt marry you. She is sovereign over her own body. My husbands 2 month affair has ended with his girlfriend being pregnant He doesnt want anything to do with his child? Yep. April 9, 2012, 2:45 pm. And this is the problem with having sex in a non-monogamous relationship and not fully protecting yourself. Furthermore, dont tell me what to do with my body and I wont tell you what to do with yours, little girl. The pregnancy pulled you back from the brink. If she doesnt, DO NOT have sex with her. He does have the right to change his mind about how involved hed like to be. If youre going to call anyone a slut, Chuck (which you shouldnt, its really very rude) why not the dude who slept with someone he cant stand and got her pregnant? April 9, 2012, 10:34 pm. April 9, 2012, 12:08 pm. If he didnt get tested prior to running back to the LW then yes, he did expose her to STDs. Im sorry, but sex creates children. Im an okder Dude but thats what we used to do. Shortly afterward we learned that he got the other woman pregnant. Now pay for the childs necessities in life. Heres a thought experiment for you: Because believe mehes not into anything but what he wants and what he likes. But, the real reason you cant let go is because you feel bad that youve invested 4 years into this relationship hoping it would lead to something, and all you got is heartbreak, and him getting another woman pregnant. You say it takes two to make a baby but somehow its only the man that gets labeled an irresponsible dick. Pay[ing] for it is responsible, even if its not what the mother of the child, or potentially the child, may initially want. You see being nurturing as a weakness. In other cases, receiving a text from an ex can immediately bring up feelings of annoyance, dread or even fear particularly if the relationship was a toxic and unhappy one that you want distance from. Um, I dont think anyone actually said that. Why are you mopping and crying over a man who clearly doesnt want to be with you? Sometimes the reasons are clear, such as frequent arguments, lack of interest, and abuse. According to legal abortion theory, only women create children. And thats why I wouldnt want anything to do with him in the first place. exactly hes allowed to not want to be a father, but be smarter about birth control. Holy hell, this guy sounds like a dick. Or, hey, maybe they were both tested, maybe they were both clean, and maybe he believed her, and maybe she actually was on the pill. Whoa whoa whoa this kid should be the most important thing in his life, over her? However, if a woman has sex with a man, she can make all the choices and decisions, force palimony, and essentially treat that man as their financial slave for the next 18 years. Any male after the onset of puberty can make a baby. We do know that the guy in question didnt use a condom (as you yourself pinted out elsewhere, LW would have def. The dude having sex is not my issue. at risk of STDs. And whether you believe its a child at conception or not, its a scientific fact that conception is what, at the very least, leads to life. This asshole is not the answer. Yea, it does sound even more ridiculous today. Lets wait to have sex until we have a bigger place. Hes walking away and Susie will give birth or have an abortion alone. Well be together forever no matter what. is thrown around just to get in some dumb girls pants just as often as I wont get pregnant. is thrown around to trap ignorant dumbasses. Life isnt fair. lets_be_honest Even SCOTUS pointed that out. It's been really painful for me. The states dont advertise this. SpaceySteph If you were thinking about breaking up with herthe pregnancy might be a trap. lol. Why, my God, you could have hit a chid running out in the street. female I cant tell you how many children have grown up thinking something was wrong with THEM because they had a parent who didnt want them. Oh thank you thank you thank you! Frankly, it astounds me more of you dont think its a shockingly cunt-ified thing to do. April 10, 2012, 5:35 pm. Heres the fact: LW, you dont get a say in what this woman does, and neither does your boyfriend. How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back If You Are Pregnant Sleeping with someone so soon after a breakup? When all of our comments are just reiterations of the same sentiment it can get boring. Having placement, on the other hand, does, and what Im saying is that when it comes down to where are the kids going to stay, in situations where everything else is equal, the default position is still with the mother in most courts, with the fathers visitation dependent on how close to equal the two parents are. 99% of women would not blame the other woman, baselessly accuse her of trying to trap her bf, be angry that someone she has no relationship with has chosen not have an abortion per their wishes, treat this woman as if she is solely responsible for child she only helped to conceive. No law can change the fact that whatever choice a man or woman in this position makes, the woman has the burden of actually carrying out the birth or abortion. Theres nothing wrong with casual sex. And, yes, he should be taking precautions against STDs because even if he never gets back with the LW, is he going to remain celibate for the rest of his life? I dont have a problem with that. I feel no connection to my biological siblings, even though they desire a relationship with me. Sue Jones If your dead-beat ex wants know part that is HIS decision. This LW really doesnt get a say in the matter, true, but if I were her Id take one look at the boyfriends actions and attitudes and dump him. Yes, he had unprotected sex. April 10, 2012, 6:58 pm. evanscr05 And hes 28. Image Source. Their choice, honey. I never really got over him and he never got over me. and our And be aware that nothing short of not having sex is 100% guaranteed to prevent pregnancy. Ever. Where does the stork fit in? Seriously, this makes my blood boil. I mean, I know guys are suppose to stick up for guys, but come on.. This is my question for you. But woman, grow the hell up. It doesnt sound like hes ready to be a one-woman man and get married (let alone start a family), and it doesnt sound like the LW is entirely willing and able to deal with being with a man who has fathered a child that isnt theirs. Im not saying its a trivial thing, but its nothing compared to birth. Just found out my boyfriend got another girl pregnant Take it from me, every man screws up at some point. Because she does not have the right to waive support for the child. Essence may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. Well, ok. Im usually just a lurker here on DW, but the strong debate over this letter compelled me to comment. lets_be_honest April 9, 2012, 1:15 pm. reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2008): A He could've at least waited a week after coming back! What should I do if my boyfriend got another woman pregnant but - Quora Nope, not at all, she just goes on living life unchanged. The fact that a child is adopted does not somehow guarantee the theyll be cared for. female and if you arent mature enough to deal with those things (as well as the potential for an unplanned pregnancy) dont have sex. April 9, 2012, 12:24 pm. What do you think happens to the fetus? Thanks for listening to me. And yes, women do use the laws to trap men into financing their lifestyle of choice (as a single mother).. Id at least like a comment from the LW, since, as much fun as this has been, I do agree that it seems not unlikely that the letter is contrived. Increasingly, more and more, these letters just simply disgust me. Both agreed to cut him out entirely, up to and including child support, so that he was free of any obligation. When we got back together we had a lot of trust issues and found it hard to forgive one another. P.S. What the LW needs to do is take a deep breath, wait a long time for this situation to resolve, and then decide what she wants to do. Ill bet if LW gets pregnant, this guy is gone just about instantly. pretty sure he is actually an extreme pro-lifer who is playing into his rhetoric backwards. In the vast majority of cases, these relationships do not last long and serve solely to be a . But if YOU really are so fucked up and so pathetic that you want to build a life with a man who for intents are purposes wants to simply abandon his own child have at it. The scapegoats arent really the point- women, minorities, the government, poor people, rich people- it doesnt really matter. But simply disagreeing with others does NOT fit the definition of a troll, not by a long shot. Now, again, I dont see why it is so hard to let him go, and why you cant move on. thats why both parties should be concerned about preventing pregnancy because you have no idea what the other person is doing. Iwannatalktosampson Um hello, hes 40 years old, he knows how babies are made. A month after the abortion, while I waited for my luggage at the baggage claim, three babies surrounded me, all under a year. 6napkinburger Considering the fact that I know far more gay guys having sex (and lots more of it, with more partners, too) than I do straight people and I can honestly say none of my good gay friends have ever magically come down with HIV, yet I can name 8 people who against all odd just happened get themselves or their lovers knocked up Seriously. No one knows if adoptive parents end up being fabulous parents. April 9, 2012, 2:14 pm. Your FAMILY can be the most important thing in your life not just your children. Therefore, when having sex with a woman, you must assume that she could get pregnant and could keep it even though you dont want it; or on the flip side, abort it even though you dont want her to. Dont choose to roll those dice if you cant cope with all of the possible outcomes. Im not questioning the reality of the situation Im questioning the inherent fairness of the law today. Both of their attitudes kind of suck. I know Im stretching here, but So, if you insist that men create children, or even assist in such a thing, you are some kind of slimy pro-lifer meddling in the affairs of independent women who need men like a fish needs a bicycle. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. Hell, I dont even know the lady in question, and I can tell that shell be a lousy mother, too. They dont want to have spirited logical debate, they want to vent and lash out at people. April 9, 2012, 3:44 pm. . And no it shouldnt be just the womans responsibility that the bf just met if she decides to not have an abortion or give the child up for adoption. . It is time to take a hard honest look at yourself and why you really want to be in a relationship with a man that wants to be with someone else. Youre upset that it only took a few months for her to get what youve been waiting for 4 years. He hides me as well as the other girl. If the woman doesnt want the child, she has that option. Understand that he will not leave her for you. They were broken up so he had no obligation to the LW. I didnt see that it made sense for him to send a check for MY child when he never had even met her. Dont get me wrong, the child should be taken care of and taken responsibility for but it can never be the reason why you do or dont stay together that decision should be based purely on the possibility for a good relationship between you grown ups.
